No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
