can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
