Its about making memories worth repressing
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
