pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
