Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
