i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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