I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
