If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
