your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
