It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
