He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
