It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
