You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
