it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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