Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
