how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
