Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
where am i from again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
