I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
