Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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