Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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