My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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