The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
