were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
