I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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