Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
