She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
