I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
