i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
