Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
