he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
