I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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