Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize