this just has baby written all over it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
