Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
