is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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