I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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