Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
