We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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