She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
