Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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