She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
