i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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