I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
