No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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