He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize