You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize