And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dick very happy bro
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
