I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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