it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
