so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Your cock deserves a montage
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
