She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
