Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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