He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
