Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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