I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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