You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
