Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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