I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
