I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
