hotel room ftw
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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