i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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