Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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