My friends, they love my intelligence
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
