You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that's an acceptable place to lick
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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