god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
