no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
