i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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