The maid of honor just puked.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
