I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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