Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
