I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
