Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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