you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
