So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
