hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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