Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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