That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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